I was young in ministry, and many of my mentors were hardcore missionaries and evangelists. Some of them were also very rigid in their thinking. It was their way or no way, and they were almost militant in their passion to take the gospel to the world. Although it was an intense experience to even be around them, I was moved by their admirable passion.We were living in a small town in Ohio, and the church was hungry to grow. We had many young leaders who were in training to take on more responsibility, and I met with about 12-15 of them every Wednesday night. I was passing on to them the intense training and calling I was receiving from my mentors.
Jeff was a shining star among these young leaders. He was a construction worker with rugged good looks and a heart that was tender toward the hurting and lost world. I used to call him the Marlboro Man for his resemblance of the famous cowboy on the Marlboro cigarette billboards. On this particular Wednesday night during our training session, I was pressing hard for these young leaders to step up and volunteer to become small group leaders for our evangelistic outreach. I really wanted Jeff to raise his hand and kind of lead they way for others. But he sat there on his hands and didn’t budge.
I kept trying subtle ways to get him to take a hint, but he wasn't moving. So I finally just laid it all on the line and called him out. I said, "Jeff, we need you to step up and take responsibility for leading one of these groups." He replied, "But I don't feel like I can take this on right now. I'm just not ready." I could tell I was up against a serious road block here, so I pressed harder. I said to him emphatically, "Jeff, you need to quit thinking about all the reasons you can't do this, and say 'yes.' I'm not asking you to do anything I am not already doing myself."
That last statement sounded so right. I have heard it said over and over by coaches and military leaders, especially in movies! Surely it was a perfectly sound statement. But Jeff ruined that hallowed motivational statement for me for the rest of my life when he simply replied, "What difference does that make Don? I’m not you."
Pow! Like a 2x4 to the face, his statement blasted me into a new reality. Instantly it made sense. HE made sense. Why would I ever say that statement under those circumstances? He wasn't me, and I wasn't him. I later thought that is would be about like Michael Jordan throwing me a basketball, yelling at me to dunk the ball, and then saying, "Come on, Don. I’m not asking you to do anything I am not already doing myself!"
Yep. I was looking for the "reset button." I immediately apologized to Jeff and the entire class. I realized how wrong-headed that statement can be. I was attempting to motivate him by based on my passion and plans instead of his own walk with Christ in the Spirit. He accepted my apology, and I made good on my commitment to not use that statement or approach any more.
Jeff ended up becoming an excellent small group leader, youth leader, worship leader, and they eventually hired him full-time as one of their ministers! But it was all in accordance with his own walk in Christ and the presence of the Holy Spirit in his life.
I am not suggesting that we cannot challenge, rebuke, encourage or inspire each other to live more fully in submission to the Lord. But as the apostle Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 8:12 – our gift to the Lord is acceptable, "according to what we have, not according to what we do not have." This means that giving ourselves fully to the Lord is a personal experience we share first and foremost with HIM. God was not going to judge Jeff based on my life, nor would he judge me by comparing me with Jeff.
Your gift to the Lord is miraculously personal and intimate, even when you are serving in front of a class full of children or adults, giving privately or leading a mission, or any other setting of service. God knows exactly who we are and what we have, and he expects nothing more, but certainly nothing less, than our all.
- Don McLaughlin
