While finishing college in Arkansas, Susan and I lived three miles off the blacktop on a gravel road surrounded by rice fields. It was cheap rent, and it was not far from the little church we served in Griffithville. Our closest neighbor was L.C. Cooper, a very active elderly widower who had lived his entire life on the farm down the road. L.C. was battling cancer, and his daughter asked if we could help him with some chores around his house. One afternoon I went down and climbed aboard his lawn tractor to mow his yard.His front yard, about 3/4 of an acre of tall grass, was overgrown with bushes and trees with one huge pine in the middle. As I mowed in a close circle around that tree, all of a sudden I was stung in the side by at least eight amazingly upset yellow jackets. Apparently I'd brushed up against their nest tucked away in the thick branches of the pine tree. It felt like I had been punched in the side. I jumped off the tractor, tore off my shirt, and ran like crazy. I didn't get any more stings, but I started feeling a little dizzy, and I knew that I'd better get them treated.
I am certain I was never in any real danger. Although the stings hurt, they were quick to heal. However, after that event I have had a different kind of relationship with any kind of bee, or getting to close to thick pine trees, or...
It reminds me of a powerful statement by Maya Angelou about human relationships:
I've learned that people will forget what you said,We want so badly for people to remember our words because they seem very important to us. But when we take responsibility only for content, and not for delivery, the outcome is often very disappointing. We find ourselves so frustrated because people judged us or remembered us for how we made them feel and not for the actual content of our words.
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel.
The same is true for our actions. If we want a meaningful outcome for our actions, we have to take responsibility both for what we do and how we do it. This still does not mean that the other person will receive us well, but it does mean that we can be at peace with our complete effort.
Jesus said, "For I did not speak of my own accord, but the Father who sent me commanded me what to say and how to say it" (John 12:49).
Many people complain of having been "stung" by the church, religion, or Christians. They report experiences where those who wore the name of Jesus hurt them with their words and actions. Sometimes they felt snubbed, judged, criticized, or ignored. I know that these painful interactions were not all intentional, but I have been around enough to know that Christians, including me, do not always behave in a way that honors Jesus Christ!
During this 40-Day Journey Toward a Life of Active Compassion, we are being challenged to take the "sting" out of our actions and reactions. We want others to experience the love of God through us, no matter how they respond. We hope that when we approach them to help, they will feel the love of Jesus. And we also pray that no matter how they respond, or if they even remember our names, they will still feel the wonderful and majestic love of God our Father through us.
- Don McLaughlin
